The Dawn of Realisation...

Waking up to reality...that is the most difficult thing to do...all of us, I think, insist on living with our own set of illusions. And then, one day, you cannot lie to yourself any longer, because the veil has been lifted and you have seen your life for what it is and of course, more painfully, for what it is not; but what you kept thinking it was, simply because that is the way it might have been. If you had dared to take some other road perhaps. And then life stares you bleakly and bitterly in the face.

Sometimes I wonder... all those who have hurt me, was it because I insisted on misreading their expectations or is it because it is simply so difficult to know another person, however beloved he or she is to you? But the problem is that once you have seen the 'real' (not as in the real of reality), life (or the absence of it) is never the same again. You have been sobered and silenced.

In such a case, whose fault is it that we could never communicate effectively enough to forge a meaningful relationship? Language or the lack in us....Lacan's 'lack of a lack?'

Or is it simply because none of us had tried hard enough to succeed?

The only consolation I do have is that God loves me, with all my faults and flaws.

Great. I've attained insight. Now the only question is....what do I do with it?