Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Mothering

I have at many points felt that my professional life rushed me too much and left me without the leisure to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

My hobbies are alas relegated to the background since I am too exhausted to pursue them. I couldn't complete my Spanish language course at RKM Golpark in Kolkata as I had to attend classes in person thrice a week, which seemed quite a burden after a whole day's worth of teaching at school. After I had a son, arranging productive pursuits for him beyond school hours seemed more of a priority than fulfilling creative aspirations of my own. But there were times when I realised I hardly knew any of my son's friends or their parents from his montessori or later at nursery in school because I was off to school even before he woke up in the morning. The first I saw him awake was late in the afternoon when he was settling down for a nap. Twice a year, during my half yearly and annual exams at school, I tried to juggle time between answer scripts on one hand and my duties to my son, family and the rest of the world, often feeling frustrated and furious with myself when it was a particularly demanding day.

Ultimately, it was a question of putting others before myself. But I always felt guilty about just resigning from my job and just looking after my son and myself and basically, taking what might rightly have been a well deserved break. That's why Sadh Guru's video today made so much sense to me. I hope you all find it as meaningful and emotionally enriching as I did today.

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