Friday, April 09, 2010

Paradise Lost

Last night, I dreamed of someone I had loved and lost. Someone who my near-thirty years of innocence and desire had slowly, steadily moulded into life... and then, destroyed. Someone who was the climax of my older, younger ardour, the crystallisation of my spartan, monotheist faith. Someone who I dreamed into life, lived into religion, religiously summoned from the sphere of souls to love, cherish and protect. Someone who made me want to believe in the existence of a being who answers your prayers, provided there is enough power and patience in them.

That someone is no more. One day, I woke up and he had disappeared. He had died, I think.

With him, had died all the love I had breathed , so much of it that it had made me wonder.

With him had died all my elations and my illusions.

With his death, I now know how to feel when you love and lose. But better that than never having loved at all.

It's only that enlightenment has come at a cost : I'm alone with myself again. And the dreams are no more.

But yes, I now know that that being is there.

Be careful who you wish for. It might just be answered.

5 comments:

little boxes said...

kothay jeno ekta nara diye gelo..
"touching" isnt the right word,neither is "disturbing".
"stirring" comes closest.

amit said...

There is such a mystical element in your writing.
Reminded me of one of my poems -

What is love? It is a state of mind!
For I may love my favourite book -
Something that cannot love me back.
But those who respond to my love,
I love them much because of fear
That there could be a day when...
They won't be there to love me back,
And I would have to love them then.

Humbug said...

Tragedy is far worse than death.

Pritesh Shah said...

dont let that loss fade away ... people do live till eternity .. in our wishes and thoughts

Choco said...

Touched.

I think the key is to hold on to the good memories. Isn't that what life is about? A string of disjointed memories...

Love your writing.

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